For the Love of Books
by P.J. Cullen
Summary: Bella meets Edward at her favorite bookstore. He's gorgeous, intelligent, and funny... but is he different from the previous man in Bella's life? Will she give him a chance, or is her fear of reliving her past too great? M for mentions of assault, language, and future lemons. AH, B/E.
1. Chapter 1

**I would like to start this off by saying that in the beginning this story will be a little on the heavy side; HOWEVER, I think it's necessary for you to understand all that Bella's lived to get to this point, so you can better understand her. It will be a bit bumpy, but it will smooth out, I promise. :)**

**This story is rated M for mentions of assault, language, and future lemons.**

**All characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.**

~o~

"What do you want, Alice!" I yelled at I buried my face deeper into the mountain of black and white pillows on my bed.

"Bella! You promised! Please, please, please!" She whined, from the opposite side of my bedroom door.

Even though I wanted to end her life at that moment, I knew that I had, in fact, promised to go shopping with her today. I swear sometimes I'm just too weak.

"Fine! I'm up, you damn Pixie." I yelled, flinging the sheets off my body. "All I fucking want is one good morning of sleep, without getting woken up by a screeching fairy. Jeeze!" I mumbled, a part of me hoping that she heard me.

"You won't regret this, I promise, Bellsy." She said from the other side of the door, which I now kept locked due to her morning peppiness.

"Yea, yea." I said lowly while heading to my bathroom.

It took me about an hour to get ready. Normally it only took me about half an hour because I never really wore any makeup or anything like that, but today i was feeling lazy. I decided on my dark wash skinny jeans, and my black Bon Jovi hoodie, all topped off with my favorite black combat boots. I opted to leave my hair down, since it looked half decent today, and as usual, no make up.

"Okay, I'm ready for the torture, Ali." I said warily as I walked out of my room.

"Bella, will you never learn! How many times have I told you not to wear those hoodies so much?" she seethed, and honestly I was just happy I got on her nerves. That's what she got for waking me up.

Watching me walk towards the door with my keys in hand, she let the whole hoodie thing go, sighing exasperatedly. On our way out of the door I heard her mumble something about hoodies looking like bags. She would think that, seeing as she was decked out in super tight skinny jeans, a blazer, and heels. But, whatever. My jeans are just as tight as hers, but I choose to wear a hoodie and combat boots instead. Sue me.

Heading out of our apartment building, I had to stop and admire my beautiful 2010 Chevy Camaro, he was all black with two white racing stripes down the middle, and he had never looked so beautiful in the sunlight.

"Gonna stand there and admire Castor all day, Bells?" teased Alice, as she called my beloved Camaro by his name. I had decided on the name Castor because one of my all time favorite movies was Face Off, and Castor Troy was an insane, yet brilliant villain. My car, in all it's dark glory, resembled a villain more than a hero. Thus, Castor.

All I could do was laugh, because it was no secret that Castor was my baby, having been a gift from my dad on my twenty-third birthday.

As we headed to the mall, Ali shared all her plans for this upcoming weekend, and I'm not going to lie, I seriously tuned her out for half of the whole conversation just agreeing and nodding my head when asked something. I loved Ali, but sometimes she just let her head get away from her on certain topics, clothes being one of them.

"Are you even listening to me, Bella?" she screamed with a hit to my shoulder, causing to to jump about three inches off of my seat.

"What the hell, Ali! I'm driving!" I huffed, but couldn't help but laugh because she thought that she was so tough and she was just so small it was adorable.

"You're always so wrapped up in your head, Bella. I swear, if I didn't know you I'd think you were crazy." she said with a smile, and a wave of her perfectly manicured hand.

Having been friends since high school Ali and I had always been inseparable. We had clicked instantly, much to every ones amazement. Ali, with her fashion obsessed mind, and me with my obsession with books. Everyone thought that we would be sworn enemies, but they could not have been more wrong.

When we arrived at the mall, Ali dragged me into a million different stores that I didn't care for, as always. While we were in some perfume infested cave, I decided that she wouldn't even know if I left for a few minutes, so I left. Making my escape, quickly and quietly out of the 'cave', as I'd dubbed it, I headed for Comfy Corner. Comfy Corner was a small independent bookstore that had opened up in the mall a couple of years ago, and I had been coming ever since. The checkout counter was attended to by the sweetest old lady. Her name was Mrs. Mason, and she had a tendency to just put me at ease and make me feel at home. As soon as I set eyes on the entrance, my entire body relaxed.

"Now this is more my style." I murmured to myself as I entered the book filled wonderland.

I immediately headed into the paranormal romance section. What? A girl can't fantasize? I headed straight for my favorite book series, The Black Dagger Brotherhood. These books were phenomenal, they had so much detail about the lives of the group called the Brotherhood, and I always fell in love with that latest books incorporating a new Brother. I could lose myself in this store for hours, and still want to stay longer. They had a Starbucks, and they had books, which means they basically had my heart.

As I was scanning my cellphone for any latest news on J.R. Ward's new releases, I felt eyes on me. Now, I don't get stared at often, but when I do, it's always by creeps. So I immediately snap my eyes to the right where my eyes meet the greenest, most hypnotizing eyes I had ever seen. I froze. Not only because those eyes felt like they were looking directly into me, but because the human being attached to those eyes was truly one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my entire twenty three years of life. I just stared. Really, I stood there and just looked at this man, admiring all the perfection that was him. As I was standing there admiring him, I failed to realize that he was, in fact, saying something to me.

"Ugh, I'm s-sorry, what was that?" I stuttered, feeling my face turn into the reddest of all tomatoes.

"I asked, 'If you'd found anything good?'" He chuckled.

And I was, once again, taken aback by his, excuse the word, perfection. Even his teeth were flawless. What the fuck? How can someone be so PRETTY? Damn.

"Ummm, I don't think you'll like what I read." I half laughed, trying to hide my books.

Don't get me wrong, It's not that I was embarrassed by my book choice, but I didn't want him thinking that I was some horny loser, who just read books like this to get her rocks off. Okay. I was a little embarrassed, but that's besides the point.

"Why do you say that? You don't know what I read. We could be picking up the same exact book for all you know." He stated with a half smile.

Staring down at the book in my hand, I slowly showed him the title Lover Mine. I had to try my hardest not to laugh at the baffled man in front of me.

"Oh." He said, his cheeks turning pink. That's when I lost it. I laughed so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I knew he probably thought I was crazy. but I couldn't stop myself, his face was PRICELESS. I looked up through tear filled eyes, and I saw him chuckle softly.

"You think that's funny, huh?" he said with a smile. "Laughing at a man's embarrassment?"

That really set me off. I had to sit down in front of the shelf that we were in front of in order to not pass out from lack of oxygen. When I finally calmed down, I saw that he was sitting next to me, with a smile on his face.

"You're silly, you know that?" I told him, smiling.

"I've been called many things by many people, 'silly' has never been one of them." He chuckled.

As he said this, I really took the time to look at him. He was absolutely stunning, especially when he was chuckling. He had the wildest copper colored hair I had ever seen, and his face was just amazing. He had a perfect nose, a perfect smile, perfect eyes, and even perfect ears. As I looked down, I saw that he was in jeans, boots, and a black v-neck short sleeved shirt. He looked good enough to eat. And his hands, GOD his hands. They were so big and manly. I could only imagine what those hands were capable of. Too late I realized that he was waiting for me to respond to him.

"What?" I said, breaking out of my daze.

"You sure zone out a lot, are you ok?" He asked with a teasing smile.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just have some stuff on my mind." I replied with a smile. It was contagious,

"Hmm, like what?" he asked. Something told me he knew I was checking him out. And he liked it.

"Just, you know, stuff." I said with a smile, getting up from my spot on the floor.

"So you're not going to tell me?" He asked, getting up.

"Nope." I said, popping the p.

"I guess that's fair. Not that I AGREE with it, but I guess it's fair." He said, trying to make a serious face. He looked too cute for words.

"Well, can I atleast get your name, Mystery Girl?" He said looking at me with those piercing green eyes.

"B-Bella." I said, unable to resist him.

"Well, nice to meet you, Bella." He said with a wide grin, and I just about died. If I thought he was hot, smiling, I was insane. He was GORGEOUS when he grinned.

"I told you my name, aren't you gonna tell me yours?" I asked, hoping to sound a bit flirty but failing miserably. Why couldn't overconfident snarky Bella come out now? What was with that bitch. Jesus Christ she was virtually useless.

"It's Edward, Edward Cullen." He smiled back at me.

I couldn't help but laugh again, he'd introduced himself like James Bond.

"Well, Edward, Edward Cullen, I have to go. My friend doesn't even know I left her." I said with a smile, and just as the words were out of my mouth, I heard Alice's screech coming from the end of the isle.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Where in the hell have you been?! I looked everywhere for you! I thought you had gotten lost in a pile of clothes for fucks sake!" She yelled. I hated making Ali mad at me, but she just took shopping too seriously.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I remembered Edward right behind me. He was laughing his ass off at MY expense, that dick!

"And YOU," Ali turned to Edward, " who in the hell are you?" When she turned to him, his laugh stopped short, he looked a little bit scared.I had to laugh, Ali didn't know him, but she would definitely give him a piece of her mind, if I didn't stop her.

"Ali! Calm down, I just came to the bookstore to pick up this book." I said, holding the book up for her to see, "I just ran into Edward here, and we got to talking. I swear I didn't mean to take long." I told her, and I could see that she felt a bit bad for yelling at me.

"Ugh!" she huffed, "it's just that I got worried, Bells. You never leave without telling me. I panicked." She said looking sad.

"I'm sorry, Ali-cat. I thought I'd only be gone a second. As all this was taking place, I saw Edward looking at me with a small smile.

"Well, Edward, we've gotta go. As you can see I almost gave my small friend a heart attack," I laughed.

"Shut up!" Ali growled back, trying her hardest to look angry at me.

"Well, Isabella Marie Swan, I don't want to be too forward, but is there any chance that I could get your phone number?" He asked, his cheeks turning a bit pink.

I could NOT believe my ears! HE had asked ME for MY number? What?! That never happened! Stuttering and nodding, I held out my phone, and we exchanged numbers. The entire time I thought I was going to die of heart failure. Finally he handed my phone back, and his fingers grazed mine, and I swear, my heart stopped.

"Goodbye, Mystery Girl." He said with a wink, " See ya, Alice." and with that he rounded the corner and was gone.

I just stood there, frozen in place. Ali was squealing her heart out, but I couldn't even move.

Eventually I unfroze and was able to pay for my book, saying goodbye to Mrs. Masen who was laughing at Ali's little rant over me leaving, and didn't even try to hide the fact that she saw Edward and I flirting. All I could do was roll my eyes, and laugh, I could never get mad at Mrs. Masen, she was just too damn adorable, and feisty. Soon after that, we headed home and the entire way, I was smiling like an idiot, and Ali was asking for details. It was literally the BEST trip to the mall I had ever had. I had this feeling in my heart that said that Edward and I would meet again, and I couldn't be more excited.

~o~

**I hope you guys enjoyed the beginning of this story. This chapter was just an intro to the friendship that Alice and Bella have, and the intro to a Bella and Edward relationship. I will be posting new chapters every Wednesday, and sooner if I can get them out, again, hope you enjoy. See ya next Wednesday :)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-PJ**


	2. Chapter 2

**This being a new story and all, I decided to post this chapter earlier than I had originally planned. I got it out fairly quickly, and I'm anxious on what you guys will think. Please let me know what you guys think, and don't be shy with your reviews, lol.**

**Now before you guys get any further, I want to warn you that this is a heavy chapter. It's a bit of background on why Bella feels the way she does concerning men. There's not much talk of family yet, but this chapter is full of important information having to do with Bella's past. Please be advised, that although I'm not extremely graphic, I was pretty descriptive on what occurred.**

**Okay, now that that's out of the way, I wanna take a quick second to thank everyone who is giving this story a chance. See you at the bottom :)**

**This story is rated M for mentions of assault, language, and future lemons.**

**All characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.**

It had been two days since I had met Edward at the mall, and he still hadn't so much as called. I knew he would turn out to be a douche. Just like the rest of them. Men are selfish creatures. My brain was telling me 'I told you so', while my heart was screaming at me to just have patience. I didn't want to doubt Edward, but we only met the one time, and we only talked for fifteen minutes, how is that possibly enough time to know a person enough to want to call them?

I wasn't always so doubtful of guys, I used to trust them once upon a time, but things happened to change that.

When Alice and I were in our freshman year of high school, we were the absolute best of friends. We talked about everything, from clothes, to boys, to books. We were young and naive, and far too trusting of the opposite sex. In our minds, they could only hurt us if we slept with them, so we didn't. Our mothers had the talk with us pretty early, having done it when we left middle school, and the one thing they emphasized above all else was that boys only wanted one thing; sex. So naturally in our minds if we didn't have sex with anyone then we were free of the danger that came with boys. How wrong we were.

When we entered school on the first day of sophomore year, we knew things had changed. Drastically. During our freshman year it was easy to avoid boys, they didn't want to be with us, and we didn't want to be with them. Simple. However, our sophomore year the boys WERE interested, and, not surprisingly enough, so were we. All the girls in school seemed to have boyfriends, and, naturally, we wanted to fit in.

It all started when we met Jacob and Paul.

They were perfect gentlemen, and they treated us beautifully. In the beginning we were happy, the boys were happy. It was like the perfect high school movie experience, until one day, things began to change. This came our junior year. During the summer before our junior year, we spent most of our time at the beach. Having lived in forks during our time in high school, we would take advantage of the sunny days, and learn to make the best of the rainy days. On those beautiful summer afternoons we would go swim in lakes, and lay out in the sun planning out our futures, and on rainy days we would cuddle up with hot chocolate and watch movies together.

We were the perfect foursome. Girls at school envied us, when Jake and Paul had their growth spurt and turned into huge football players, and boys envied Jake and Paul because they had the two girls that no one had been able to conquer. It was supposed to be the beginning of our best high school years, and they turned into a nightmare.

About a month into our junior years, we had all been getting pretty close as couples. Alice and I would discuss our plans with Jake and Paul, and we would even talk about the possibility of losing our virginities to them, our mothers' speeches forgotten. This is when the boys started push. They began saying that we were selfish in not sleeping with them. That they had 'needs'. It wasn't very serious to us, and we thought nothing of it, just shrugging it off as boys being boys.

And how wrong we were. It happened on a rainy day, when we were at Jake's house. We had just finished watching A Walk to Remember, when the boys started with the playful kisses, kisses that we gladly returned. Jake and I opted to stay in the living room, while Alice and Paul went back to Jake's room. I should have known sooner what was going to happen, to this day I don't know how I didn't see it. They had told us that their parents would both be out of town, and that they wanted us to stay over, just so they could 'spend more time with us', as young naive girls we were thrilled. They had already both told us that they loved us, and we had said it back. I guess, because they said those words and we returned them, that they could do what they pleased with us.

I first realized when I heard Alice screaming for Paul to get off of her from Jake's room, I tried to go to her, and Jake wouldn't let me. At first he tried to distract me with more kisses, but when that failed he physically restrained me. I could hear Alice in the other room calling me, but I couldn't move. All I could think of was that she was going to get hurt and that I wouldn't be able to stop it.

When that thought crossed my mind, I became extremely angry. I fought Jake's hold, I kicked, punched, and scratched to get away from him, and eventually I managed to get loose. When I ran to where Paul had Ali... I couldn't believe my eyes. Paul was over her ripping her clothes off. All I could do was scream, and thankfully one of Jake's neighbors heard me, and barged in. It was my father's friend, Harry Clearwater. When he laid eyes on Alice and I, he attacked Jake and Paul, and had his friend Joe call the cops.

When the cops arrived, they couldn't believe how lucky we were that Harry had gone outside to call in his dog and heard us. They called all of our parents and both Alice and I filed restraining orders on Jake and Paul. They were charged with sexual assault and removed from school.

Alice and I were lucky, we had been found just in time.. but the trauma was still there. The fear remained.

It took Ali and I a couple of years to get passed that, and still we were extremely close. Ali saw me as someone who would protect her, and I saw her as my baby sister, even though we were the same age. We never slept with them, but look at all the damage they caused. We have moved on from the attack, but we will never forget it. That's why I don't trust men. It's like my mom always said, 'boys only want one thing; sex'.

~o~

At twenty three, I, Isabella Marie Swan, was still a virgin. After what happened to me with Jake, I just couldn't get close to boys, or men for that matter. I always suspected them, and I couldn't stop it. The only man that I hadn't had that problem with had been Edward. I hadn't thought about it, but with him I hadn't felt one ounce of fear or suspicion. That just frustrated me all the more. The one man I was interested in, didn't want me. Figures. If it's not because of my issues, it's because of my plainness. Life is a complicated web of problems.

As I was laying on my bed thinking about how badly my life had turned out, Ali appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Bells." She said with a soft smile. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" I replied, my voice sounding a little rough.

"...You're crying." She said with a sad look in her eye.

I reached up, and was amazed to see that she was right. I WAS crying.

"I'm fine, Ali, I promise. Just stuff, you know how that is." I laughed, trying to shrug it off.

I should have known better. Alice knew me better than anyone. She walked over to where I was laying, and hugged me. That was when it all went to hell. The tears that started couldn't be stopped. The pain was just too much. I would never be good enough for anyone, I would always be damaged. I would never be happy. Ali just held me as I let it all out, and the tears just kept coming.

"Ali, I'm not good enough.." I whispered into her hair. "I'll never be good enough. I'm broken, Ali. And no ones gonna be able to fix me.."

"Bells, that's not true!" She said as she hugged me tighter. "You WILL be happy one day, there is something great out there for us, I just know it."

All I did was cry. She stayed with me, and just let me cry.

~o~

**I know that this was a heavy chapter, but I want to remind you all that it does get better. I promise you guys that I will not make you suffer long, BUT Bella has to work out some things, and those things won't just magically disappear. Okay, enough with the heavy, haha. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought, see ya.**

**-PJ.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I keep saying I'll post on Wednesdays, but I can't help myself, lol. I got this one done today, and couldn't wait to post it. So here you go :)**

**Now in this chapter you're going to see a little bit more of how Bella and Alice's friendship works. This is a a slice of the more laid back days off that they share together, also we finally hear from our Bookward :)**

**This story is rated M for mentions of assault, language, and future lemons.**

**All characters are property of Stephenie Meyer.**

~o~

After my little breakdown with Alice, she and I decided to have a lazy girl vacation. This meant that we took Thursday and Friday off from school and just vegged out in front of the television with ice cream, chips, candy, you name it. We hadn't done this in a while, and I was happy to just BE with my best friend. We were both dressed for comfort, something that Alice wouldn't be caught dead in outside of our shared appartment.

Alice, was in black yoga pants, and an off the shoulder baby pink sweatshirt, all designer of course, and they highlighted her small figure. It seemed that everything she wore just made her look more beautiful. Alice was naturally a beautiful girl, with her chin length ink black hair, piercing grey eyes, and her small features. Standing at a whopping five feet, she always gave the impression of innocent, and child like, but Alice was the more mature one of the two. She had a knack for design in every aspect, clothing, interior decorating, and all things elegant, she was just a natural.

I, on the other hand, was almost the complete opposite to the small, fairy like, fashion forward woman. Standing at five foot four, I was a complete four inches above Alice, something that i never let her forget. Today I had chosen, like many other days, a hoodie that was three times my size, and loose sweatpants, both things that drove Alice insane. I had long mahogany hair, which was the only thing I liked about myself, and brown eyes. I was small in an average girl way, while Alice was tiny in a child like way, something she despised.

"Bells. do you think that Bradley Coopers' hotter than Chris Evans?" She asked from her perch on the arm of the couch I was sitting on, with a furrowed brow, and a curious look in her eye.

"That's a hard one, Ali. They're both hot for completely different reasons, Bradley has that amazing jaw line, and that fantastic smile, while Chris has that amazing Captain America body that we all want to drool on." I replied seriously, shifting towards her. I knew this discussion would take a while.

It was always funny when we had these 'who's hotter' discussions, because Alice took her actor comparisons very seriously. It was almost comical how upset she got when she thought you were wrong and you wouldn't agree with her, and they always took days to clear up. She was definitley a force to be reckoned with, that one.

We spent the entire day just like that, and I couldn't be happier.

"Hey, whatever happened to Edward, Edward Cullen? Did he ever call?" Alice asked innocently.

Ever since I told Alice that I wasn't good for anyone, and that nobody would ever want me, she took it upon herself to force me to see that there WERE men out there that were different, hence her bringing up Edward.

"I don't know, Ali.. He never called, and I don't wanna seem desperate." I said as I munched on some Cheetos.

"Isabella Marie, have you even checked your phone?" She asked getting up from the couch, with a knowing look in her eye.

That statement made me pause. Hadn't I checked my phone? I unthinkingly reached for it in my pocket only to realize that it wasn't there. I turned slowly to Alice with an embarassed smile on my face, only to see my phone in her hand.

"Looking for this?" She said waving my phone around, smiling.

"Gimme that!" I said, snatching it away from her, cradeling it to my chest.

How could I have been so stupid? This whole time I had been whining that no one would want me, and I hadn't even checked my phone to see if he had called!

"You really do live inside your head, Bella. You need to get that checked out." She joked, falling onto the couch next to me.

"Ha-ha. The failing of my mental health is funny to you?" I said sarcastically, while she giggeled away.

Unlocking my phone, I saw that I had 3 missed calls, and 1 text message. The anticipation was killing me, so I checked the missed calls first. Two were from my my dad, Charlie, and... holy shit.. One was from Edward!

"Ali! He called, he called!" I yelled excitedly, slapping at her arm.

Okay get yourself together, Swan, I thought to myself. Overexcitement only makes you look like a preteen girl. Taking a deep breath, I looked at the text message from Edward. I just about passed out cold.

"Ali... he called me, AND texted me." I told her quietly, trying to rein in my excitement. All I heard was Alice's ear splitting squeal next to me.

"I knew it! He did like you, you were just too damn stupid to check your freakin' phone!" She said. bouncing in place.

And now came the decade old question. What did I do now? Did I call him back, or did I wait for him to call me? Would he call me? Did he regret calling me? Damn, it's times like this that being a woman sucks. How the hell was I supposed to know what he wanted?

"Bella, I can see you freaking out. Don't. He called you because he wanted to talk, and texted because you didn't answer. Let me see the texts." She demanded, grabbing my phone from my sweaty hands.

"Let's see," she mumbeled half to herself.

"The first one says, 'Hey, Mystery Girl, I called and you didn't answer. I'm hoping that you were just busy reading your new book.' Bella. He was flirting at Comfy Corner and he's definitley flirting now. You need to get yourself together and call him back. Now." She demanded.

"But Ali... What if I embarrass myself?" I whined falling into the cushions on the couch.

"Are you kidding me, Bells?" she laughed. "You're scared of embarrasseing yourself. The girl with the dirtiest mind in Seattle, and you're scared of EMBBARRASING yourself?" She questioned with a confused look in her icy grey eyes, pulling me from my mountain of cushions.

"...No..." I mumbeled, embarrassed, peeking at her through my hands.

"Good! Now, call him." She said, handing me my phone.

When I looked at it, all she did was wiggle it, and I looked at it like it was on fire.

"Bella, come on. He won't bite, at least he didn't look it." She told me smiling at my chuckle. "And even if he did, would that really be a bad thing?" She said with a raised eyebrow.

At that I had to laugh. Alice was right. I shouldn't be embarrassed. I mean, he's just a guy. And I'm not afraid of them.

"Okay," I sighed. "I'm gonna call him."

Taking the phone from Alice's outstretched hand, I could feel the heat already covering my face. Looking through my contacts, I found Edward's, and with a deep breath, I hit send and put the phone up to my ear. It rang, and rang. I honestly thought he wouldn't even answer, when I heard a breathless voice on the other side,

"Hello? Bellla?" Edward's voice sounded even better than I had remmembered it at the book store.

"H-hey, Edward," I stuttered. Cool Bella, really freakin' cool.

I looked over at Alice, and she had the biggest smile on her face, you'd think I was talking to her future husband or something.

"What's up?" he asked, "I called you yesterday and you didn't answer. I kind of thought you wouldn't want to talk to me." He said sounding a little bit shy.

As odd as it was, his nerves made me feel more at ease with him. It showed me that I wasn't the only one who had doubts, though God knows he didn't need to have them.

"No," I said with a laugh, "Alice and I just decided to take yesterday and today to relax and I didn't have my phone, I'm sorry." I appologized. "But I called as soon as I saw your name on my screen." I said, immediatley thinking that I sounded desperate.

"Well, I'm glad." He replied with a laugh, "I just called to see if you wanted to go out to a movie or something.." He asked, sounding unsure of himself.

"I would love to!" I said, sounding a bit overexcited.

"Great," He laughed, sounding relieved. "Is tomorrow okay? I mean, I know it's a Saturday and you might have plans..." He told me.

"No, tomorrow's perfect, "I smiled into the phone. "What time should I be ready?" I asked feeling emboldened.

"How about I pick you up at seven? That way we can get a quick something to eat after." He asked.

"Sounds perfect," I said with a huge grin. "I'll text you my address."

"Perfect," He sighed sounding relieved. "So Saturday night at seven?" He ased again to confrim.

"Yup, and I'll text you my address." I said, barely able to contain my excitement.

"Great, see you tomorrow, Mystery Girl." He said with the sweetest laugh.

"See you then, Edward, Edward Cullen. " I replied, with a huge smile.

And with that we hung up. The moment that the phonecall ended, I knew that Alice would pounce on me for info, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I was just too happy that Edward had called, and not only called, but asked me out on a date.

"Well?" Alice asked, jumping up and down.

"We're going out tomorrow night!" I yelled with equal excitement.

We both squealed louder than ever, for sure making our neighbors hate us. I couldn't believe I was going out on a date! The only thing that could possibly ruin it, would be my unexplained fears.. Sensing that my insecurities were getting the best of me, Ali grabbed my shoulders.

"Bella, don't you dare! Edward seems like a great guy, and you said it yourself, you didn't even feel the panic that you normally feel with men with him. Don't let them win.."She whispered to me.

And by 'them', I knew exactly who she meant. Jacob and Paul. She rarely mentioned them, or what happened. She was just too happy of a person to let it get her down. That mad me so jealous of her. She was so strong, and she didn't let her past get her down, whereas I let it eat me alive. With Edward, though, a part pf me told me that he would be different. That he was a good guy, and that he might be the one to help me get over my hurtful past.

"Okay," I said taking a deep breath, "This is gonna be a great date, and I'm going to have a great time with Edward." I stated, trying to convince myself that I could do this.

"I can do this." I said, again, just to reafirm it to myself.

"Yes!" yelled Alice, "Now, the fun REALLY beginns!" She yelled, jumbing up and pulling me with her into her bedroom.

Crap. I knew what she was getting at. This date meant that Ali would get to dress me, and that meant deathtraps on my feet, slimy shit on my face, and shirts I couldn't even breathe in. Great. Although, even after knowing all this, I still couldn't stop my excitement. For one, I was going to go on a date with one of the most beautiful men I'd ever seen, AND I got to make Ali happy. She always complained that I never let her do my hair or my makeup, but this time she basically had free rein over all of those things. As nervous as I was, I couldn't wait for my date with Edward, Edward Cullen.

~o~

**In this chapter I tried to showcase some of Bella's insecurities when it comes to men, especially Edward ;) I wonder how that date is gonna go, haha. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed reading. Also I'll probably post the next chapter soon, and chances are I won't be able to help myself. Please review :)****  
**

**-PJ**


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